


Duologue For Would-Be Lovers

by athousandwinds



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare
Genre: Iambic Pentameter, M/M, Yuletide 2007
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-21
Updated: 2011-01-21
Packaged: 2017-10-14 22:51:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athousandwinds/pseuds/athousandwinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Romeo pines. Mercutio taunts him, to his own ultimate detriment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duologue For Would-Be Lovers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [athenejen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/athenejen/gifts).



> MERCUTIO  
> What ails thee, my young lordling Romeo?  
> Hast thy beard not yet grown? Has thou been drunk  
> On spirits or beer or love of woman?
> 
> ROMEO  
> My beard is well, thank you, see how it grows.  
> I am snar'd in love, sweet Mercutio.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> What lady stirs Romeo's heart? Tell me,  
> Or I shall torment thee like the devil.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Do as thou wilt. It makes no diff'rence, friend.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Who is it? I will barter thee my beard.  
> Thine own grows not thickly like a man's should.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Rosaline.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Rosaline? Fear not, brave heart.  
> I know her of old, she's a well-known flirt,  
> When she dances, she tosses fairy-dust  
> In the eyes of her suitors and she laughs.  
> But then at night's end, there is a ladder,  
> Jacob's ladder, ascending to Heaven.
> 
> ROMEO  
> She says she is to become a novice.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> We must be speaking of different girls.
> 
> ROMEO  
> I mean Rosaline of the Capulets.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> I mistake you. I thought I heard thee say,  
> "Capulet", when even Romeo is -
> 
> ROMEO  
> A fool, yes, but a fool for love, my friend.  
> There is no greater happiness to me.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Hast thou not eyes, ears, a mind that is sound?  
> It were well that she goeth to a convent.
> 
> ROMEO  
> To taste her lips would be very heaven.  
> Her beauty is that of the nightingale,  
> Sweet - shy - modest -
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> A pretty singer, but -  
> Not much else to her, my sweet Romeo.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Speak not this blasphemy, good Mercutio,  
> Or I will be forced to a duel with thee.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Don't let this thy virgin come between us.  
> Friendship is the very bread of heaven,  
> Though love's the butter to make it taste well.
> 
> ROMEO  
> I forgive thee freely if thou wilt help.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Say the word and I will do it for thee.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Katharina said my kisses were stale.  
> Teach me, I beg of thee, give me thy taste.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> An a serving girl say it, so it moot,  
> For she has her wages to make her lie.  
> I will teach thee kissing, sweet Romeo,  
> And pray God you are as thy nature.
> 
>  _[They KISS.]_
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> I have tasted worse, but it will need work.
> 
> ROMEO  
> As much as thou wilt, thou art the master.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> I am indeed the master, by my troth.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Thou hast no troth, thou art master of lies.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Thou art a master debater, I see!  
> I will challenge thee to prove thy case.
> 
> ROMEO  
> I have a beard and sweet Rose is a nun.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Thy beard is a woman's beard, and thy Rose -  
> Why, thy Rosaline is not my mistress.  
> I mistook her truly last night in bed -
> 
> ROMEO  
> Thou misbegotten cur -
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> I will hush thee with kisses, Romeo.  
> I swear it were better for our friendship.
> 
> ROMEO  
> I think thou liest before, my kiss is sweet.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> A kiss lower down is sweeter, my friend.  
> How is it that I lie? How wouldst thou know?
> 
> ROMEO  
> Thou art more eager than my old puppy,  
> Who greeted bitch and dog alike with love.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Who greets thee with love? Not I, for certain.  
> Confusion of lust with love is common,  
> As thou knowest to thy cost, Romeo.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Know this, I have always been a lover,  
> But my love was always then false to me.
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> After thou wert in bed and found her lack.
> 
> ROMEO  
> Well, I shall not soon trouble thee again.  
> Mine heart being so untrue, thou wilt not hurt.
> 
>  _[Exit ROMEO.]_
> 
> MERCUTIO  
> Hell and damnation! I thought to tease him,  
> And to assure him my bed was no pit  
> He should find it hard to leave. Ay, my friend!  
> If only thy mouth were not now so sweet,  
> I could be thy friend and all would be meet.


End file.
